Valentine's Day wish list
I've noticed a trend in the gift-giving advice for Valentine's this year. Tips include:
1. pick something individual, but romantic (like a spa weekend or tickets to an event, not a tire gauge, even if he/she really needs one)
2. If it's in the Valentine's aisle or features a red rose, it is likely a bad idea.
3. Listen for hints as the day draws closer.
Well, screw hints. Lots of times, I think to myself, "Self, life would be so much easier if people could be open about what they want from life, the universe, and their significant others." So I've decided to make a list of things I would like my eventual significant other to do in present-giving situations like this (although, since I am a woman and therefore somewhat obligated to obfuscate things, I won't tell him where I've written this)
1. Take me book-shopping and carry the books for me so I can ignore the "I can't carry any more, I have to stop" rule.
2. Give me a gift box of candy that is only orange creams and caramels, even if he has to cannibalize several different boxes to make it.
3. Recite Shakespearean sonnets and e.e. cummings poems to my answering machine while I'm at work.
4. Write me letters about what he thinks on various topics.
5. Write a list of all the things he likes about me, with no caveats (yes, I really am this vain...that's one of the things to leave out of the list)
6. Get me a gift certificate for Lily O'Brien's chocolates (they are the best chocolates in the world. I know of what I speak.)
7. Take me to Ren-fair and protect me from scary bondage man in the haunted house (unless he happens to be scary bondage man...but that's unlikely, right?...right?)
8. Plan a themed surprise party for me and invite all my friends (I've always wanted a surprise party, and everything's better with costumes)
9. Write a song for me and sing it to me (or have it sung, in case he should lack musical talent)
10. Take me to the Globe (BIG present. Only to be used for proposals, 10th anniversaries, or something of equal caliber)
11. Watch Shakespearean movies with me (at least 3 at a stretch...that's what makes this a present) and bear with me when I pause to talk about it.
12. Watch The Princess Bride with me and bear with me when I recite the lines. Or read the book to me, with funny voices.
13. Make me a book of riddles.
14. Buy me a Donald Bell knife or an out-of-print book I haven't been able to find yet.
15. (My personal favorite, stolen from a story I read) Leave little notes in a trail all over town, each note with a riddle leading to the next (and the answer on the back, in case I'm too dumb to get it) and having a small gift with it. Be waiting at the end of the trail of notes somewhere special (favorite restaurant, where we first met, etc.)
I'm a high-maintenance romantic...what more can I say?
1. pick something individual, but romantic (like a spa weekend or tickets to an event, not a tire gauge, even if he/she really needs one)
2. If it's in the Valentine's aisle or features a red rose, it is likely a bad idea.
3. Listen for hints as the day draws closer.
Well, screw hints. Lots of times, I think to myself, "Self, life would be so much easier if people could be open about what they want from life, the universe, and their significant others." So I've decided to make a list of things I would like my eventual significant other to do in present-giving situations like this (although, since I am a woman and therefore somewhat obligated to obfuscate things, I won't tell him where I've written this)
1. Take me book-shopping and carry the books for me so I can ignore the "I can't carry any more, I have to stop" rule.
2. Give me a gift box of candy that is only orange creams and caramels, even if he has to cannibalize several different boxes to make it.
3. Recite Shakespearean sonnets and e.e. cummings poems to my answering machine while I'm at work.
4. Write me letters about what he thinks on various topics.
5. Write a list of all the things he likes about me, with no caveats (yes, I really am this vain...that's one of the things to leave out of the list)
6. Get me a gift certificate for Lily O'Brien's chocolates (they are the best chocolates in the world. I know of what I speak.)
7. Take me to Ren-fair and protect me from scary bondage man in the haunted house (unless he happens to be scary bondage man...but that's unlikely, right?...right?)
8. Plan a themed surprise party for me and invite all my friends (I've always wanted a surprise party, and everything's better with costumes)
9. Write a song for me and sing it to me (or have it sung, in case he should lack musical talent)
10. Take me to the Globe (BIG present. Only to be used for proposals, 10th anniversaries, or something of equal caliber)
11. Watch Shakespearean movies with me (at least 3 at a stretch...that's what makes this a present) and bear with me when I pause to talk about it.
12. Watch The Princess Bride with me and bear with me when I recite the lines. Or read the book to me, with funny voices.
13. Make me a book of riddles.
14. Buy me a Donald Bell knife or an out-of-print book I haven't been able to find yet.
15. (My personal favorite, stolen from a story I read) Leave little notes in a trail all over town, each note with a riddle leading to the next (and the answer on the back, in case I'm too dumb to get it) and having a small gift with it. Be waiting at the end of the trail of notes somewhere special (favorite restaurant, where we first met, etc.)
I'm a high-maintenance romantic...what more can I say?
posted by EAK at 6:18 PM
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